This post will have spoilers!

 <(ahhh look out spoilers hnnn)

hello. 

I just got home from work, I have a dental appointment in 3 hours, so let's get down to brass tacks.........

I have never written a devlog, let alone a postportem, for any of my games. So, this will be a first for me. After the release of PP: Pathetic Predator, Nadia & I toyed around with the idea of compiling an artbook thing (à la Malcatras' Maiden's) but we never got around to that. So yeah, I'm just going to spill some thoughts out...

Firstly, I do want to release a small update for this game. Nothing major will be changed— I just want to fix some bugs. There's one occasion I found where there are quotations on a line where it shouldn't be (one of Melanie's internal thoughts), one line is spoken by the incorrect character, and I just want to fix the linebreaks and clears and stuff. I changed the NVL textbox's size pretty close to release and I didn't get a chance to adjust everything. That's why some lines have a very apparent newline (\n) when they aren't even close to the edge of the textbox. 

I'm also a bit worried about the readability of the text. This is a problem Nevermind has too. At points, because of the stroke and colors or whatever in that game, it's really hard to read some of the text. That's something I want to fix in that game and I feel like it presents itself a little bit in this one too. I'm not sure why!!! The stroke is fairly thick, it's a bold black contrast with all the text, but for some reason I just feel like it's hard to read at points. My playtester said he didn't think it was a problem but it is to me... my solution is either to increase the stroke by a pixel or increase the font size. We'll see.

It was part of my original plan, in the scenes where Mel is a Gumitotchi, to implement an entirely new NVL box that ideally encompassed the entire screen. Like, it would be like you were inside the Gumitotchi looking out. It would've been the border for the screen too but I didn't end up having the time to do this. Not only that, I don't think I'd have the skill to do so. In fact, the current NVL textbox ingame was actually a placeholder I made. It grew on me and Guts, the artist, said they didn't think they could draw one that they would like more than my placeholder... so I stuck with it.

On "not having the skill", I... am not that great at graphical design or honestly even programming. It's a bit shameful for me. I'm in software engineering in school, I've done tech my whole life and have programmed off and on, but it's something that's really hard to dedicate myself to. I don't really understand how to make a screen look good. I think Nevermind looks good but it's completely lacking any flair or anything... it's very basic. It works because it's simplistic but I do think having an interesting looking GUI is a huge selling point for VNs. I honestly don't think the screens for Of Piers & Bays are particularly interesting. I think I might take some new screenshots or something, I don't think they sell the game very well. They don't look particularly appealing. But, honestly, I don't think a lot of the content in the game jumps forward as WOAH this is a heavy hook (lol... fishing...) I have GOT to read this NOW! I mean, the fish stuff kinda does that, I really think the Lynnie staring CG would do that too but I want that to be first experienced in game instead of on the game's page.

Oh yeah, I think I want to add some indicator that there's a secret ending once you've finished the main endings. 

...Oh yeah, there's a secret ending. Did you get it? I really wasn't sure what to put for the ending count on the game's page. Originally, it said 2 main endings. Well, I guess that's true... the End of the Pier and the End of the Bay. But, then I edited it to say 2-4. That's weird and intriguing, right? But it feels like it's more arguable than certain. There's one ending through the Bay path and two choices at the end of the Pier path and those are definitely independent endings the more I think about that... and then there's the secret ending which is the most important to my overall canon of work. If you're reading this and haven't gotten it, maybe you should go back and try the game again :-) I have a feeling you'll encounter something new...

But, yeah, GUIs. I really admire Kail's (Idk why the fuck he has a SFW & NSFW account that's the NSFW and it has the most interesting looking games) graphic design. I haven't played it yet but Fairy Unfortunate looks soooo good... I think a super unique UI like that does a whole lot of heavy lifting for a game. 59 FUCKS THE MACHINE is also a game I have not stopped thinking about since I played it. The presentation of that game is absolutely amazing. I asked Kail for some tips in how he makes his games look so Good Looking but I didn't get a chance to really even dedicate time to working on that aspect of the game... Kail and I are interested in working in a game idea together sometime in the future so maybe I'll be able to like, leech off of his code in that game if it ever becomes real, weheheh...

For all of my previous games, I have not updated anything! Besides descriptions, cover images, and tags. But the games themselves remain untouched from their jam versions. I don't know, I just wanted the original product of the jam of the time to be untouched. I don't know why it didn't occur to me for so long that I could just leave the original submission as a download and then add the updated release to the downloads. But, yeah, I want to definitely update this game and even Nevermind. 

When I made that game, I was much weaker than I am now. I was a victim of like, the teenage super sanitized Tumblr-Twitter queer anti-ship mentality, and while I was actively trying to break away from that, I was still under its spell. Ever since I've become more involved in this transgayindiege scene, starting at my involvement in Conejo and participation in both the VN cups and coming all the way to my role as a judge in the Menhera VN Jam and now, as a participant in the TOXIC YURI VN JAM, I have really been able to come out of my shell.

I'm not sure many people will read this, but this may come as a surprise to those doing so who don't know me that I am very young. Early 20s young... I feel like a lot of my peers and friends in this scene are, like, late 20s to early and mid 30s. I'm quite often consistently the youngest person around... I'm still getting through life and I'm admittedly very just, lost and confused, and I'm not sure what to do. I'm still in college, I'm working a part-time job, life is very stressful and the consistent doom in youth is something I'm also debuffed by.

I have made it part of my goal in life, at least for right now, to help MAKE SHIT WEIRDER. Honestly... everyone is a pervert... but people are really ashamed to admit it. On that "teenage super sanitized Tumblr-Twitter queer anti-ship mentality", like, every participant in that panopticon of cancellation is a sick in the head pervert but they're just too ashamed to admit it. You become an enforcer of these inane morals and they get built up in the scene and community and you feel like you can't resist against them or speak out or you'll turn into The Enemy So Often Spoken About... but it's all so nonsensical. We need to be weirder and perverted and I've been trying to make people feel like it's okay to do that. I've spoken about this so in depth many times I don't really feel like writing 40 paragraphs about it right now.

Speaking of 40 paragraphs... this was the longest thing I've written... waow... I didn't expect it to be this long. Like, ok, my approximation was 13-16k words and that's not too far off from 20k, but like idk 20(.5)k is like a landmark I guess. Akasha Dreams was 7.1k words, Nevermind was 7.6k words, and PP was 11.8k words. If you combine all of those, it's like 26k words... so yeah wow this game is kinda long. It didn't feel that long to me reading through it.

Anyway, on the game itself...

I did not enjoy working on it. I have not really enjoyed working on any of my games with the exception of PP. Prairieland Planet, my indie VN studio made for the VN cup, does not really work together well. We are all very neurotic and busy in life so it's not easy to come together and work with one another. This was actually going to be the third Prairieland game, the second where we were all involved (I don't know why I uploaded Nevermind under the Prairieland account. I guess I still didn't feel like a real 'artist' back then so I didn't have the confidence to host it on my own profile) but yousei unfortunately had to drop out.

None of those games have really been collaborative processes. Within the team, Akasha Dreams was the closest but that still ended up being mostly my brainchild and my ideas. This is not really what I want. I mean, I specifically did want that for this game, but even then, having collaboration is really nice. It was really hard to get it for this game. It's been really hard to get it for the Prairieland games. I have been the director for all of these games, but even when I beg for advice or feedback or thoughts from the team, it feels near impossible to get them. And, neither of the others can realistically work under a deadline. Admittedly, my progress wasn't as proactive as I wanted it to be. I was still working on the script until nearly the last few days. I banged out like, 10k words fairly quickly and with weeks ahead from the deadline, but I lost motivation and became discouraged very quickly. A near radio silence within the team kept me really uninspired. I wasn't a good director for Akasha Dreams, and I wasn't great on Nevermind, but I feel like I did really good on my part here and it wasn't rewarded in any way. 

So, on that, I made the decision that Prairieland isn't going to be working together for jam projects anymore. Guts and I at least have been publicly a pretty strong writer-artist duo but that dynamic is just too stressful for me. I definitely wouldn't be opposed to working with them in the future but absolutely not under a time deadline. I think by the time Akasha Dreams was finished, I vowed to never work with the two of them again on something like this, but by the time the second VN cup rolled around, I was over those feelings. They were suppressed again after Nevermind, but now, I can't resist them. This was just way too stressful for me. Though, I see no reason for Prairieland to formally disband, so... it's just sort of in stasis for right now.

I said earlier that PP was the exception. I enjoyed working on that game a lot. Even though it's not really the kind of story I want to actively tell, the collaborative process on that between Nadia and I was so so so fulfilling. Often, I feel like I can't get feedback from people. Like, if I ask my friends for feedback, I feel like they're gonna ride my dick too hard about whatever I've written— but Nadia wasn't like that. She was very straight up about her thoughts on the script and what she liked and didn't like and felt needed to be removed. We made that game. It wasn't me, giving orders and having them filled out via mail order days later, we made that game together and it was very fun. I want more of that.

I have more thoughts about the game: my game design was all fucked up ahahah. So, yeah, I had the idea for 2 different endings pretty early on but I also wanted the reader to be able to experience everything on their first read. So, I made it so you get each prologue every time and the ending depends on which prologue you choose first. Well... that doesn't really make any sense. You're not gonna be able to get everything first read with two different endings which are decided by the beginning choice. I think I should've made the prologues and endings 1:1. There's a short one and long one for each which coincide so, y'know, maybe it would've made more sense to restrict the prologues and endings together.

Well, I feel pretty happy with the final result though. I think I definitely have room for improvement as a writer but I think I am a good writer! I think I have my strong suits at least. My general prose and imagery are what I think is what I do best.

...If you've played them all, have you noticed that all my games (with the exception of PP) are all pretty much about the same thing? There's a condemnation of the hikikomori NEET lifestyle and an emphasis on self-actualization. These are the two biggest story beats throughout my games.

A reader of the game said that it felt very grounded. I think that's a pretty funny adjective to attribute to a game where a girl transforms into a fish Tama— ahem, Gumitotchi, but I think I understand what they mean. My playtester said Lynnie reminded him of a bad relationship so I think despite the fantastical elements, what they're saying is there's a certain gritty realism to the problems being dealt with here and the dynamics. I really appreciate any and all thoughts about my stuff so y'know I'm really happy to hear what someone thinks.

I hope it gets some more players soon... to be honest, I'm a bit disappointed by how unpopular it's been so far... like ok it's been out for what, two days? But IDK........ I just see other games getting way more attention and comments and feedback and it makes me feel a little left out. Well, it's not like I'm not happy for those people or anything, and there are two fucking hundred submissions to the jam so I understand that everyone's playtime is being spread out, but weh weh weh I'm allowed to want people to say stuff about my game!!!

I'm kind of out of ideas for stuff to talk about right now and I want to go play Umamusume.

You made it to the end, yay. Here's the original concept art I drew for the characters as a reward.

Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed Of Piers & Bays :)